Tres Beatport


DJ Tres was raised on a farm in Southern Missouri as a semi-feral child, with his immediate family consisting of three milking cows, a sheep dog, and his third cousin, a crippled blind-deaf mute. Jumping around in trees through most of his life, he quickly acquired a sophisticated taste in music. At 16, he built his own first pair of pants, and gained the ability to legally appear in public places. Immersing himself in the local scene, DJ Tres began djing out at redneck bars with nothing more than two fairly large rocks and a broken microphone he stole out of someone’s car. Tragedy arose when one day two large bikers took his turntables made of rocks and smashed him in the head with them. In the hospital, DJ Tres’ raw determination for recovery and newly acquired mental impairments led to his love for hardcore dance music. Donations from local “Make a Wish” charities included a red Crosley belt-drive turntable with a built in AM/FM tuner, and a Garrard turntable, both of which helped launch his career and he still uses today.

DJ Tres became a producer upon the completion of his very first an invention, a Fisher Price xylophone he repaired with some duct tape and WD-40. DJ Tres instantly became a dance music master with the help of God, who was happy to provide assistance due to DJ Tres’ newfound moral superiority acquired through a strict diet of raw vegetables and tofu, and occasional donations to the United Pentecostal Church in Columbia, Missouri. His success since then has been nothing short of amazing. To avoid paying royalties, he has operated under the extreme underground secret name “P-Funk” with fellow underground dope guy “Special Guest” and pumped out some mad beatz yo, which can be found on the mixes section of this website.

Please help pump up DJ Tres’ mad reputation across the United States by voting for him on The DJ List. If you vote for him a lot maybe he will be even more famous and come play at your city. And maybe even he will wash your car for you or play records at your birthday party! Plus you would be super cool! PLUR 4-EVA!