“Australian musician Kreap has returned to smash dancefloors into a frenzy after a 10 year lost weekend. Little is known about Kreap.
We only communicate with him via a message board on a bus terminal wall.
Its rumoured he has a secret life working for the US military but this has not been confirmed.
We believe he is happily married to “Mariam Kittenwhiskers” , a burlesque dancer with a passion for basket weaving and raising jaguars.
Kreap has only retained 40 perc of his original body and has vaginal fluid on the brain due to a tragic chemical accident involving experimental toothpaste in the 90’s. There have been numerous reports and sighting’s of Kreap on the internet in the last few months fueling rumors of a comeback , we obtained this material from a very close member of his distant family. "